NEGATIVE!!

I'm an optimist. I live life with a lot of joy. And I try to look at things like the glass is half full. But there is one place where I'm perfectly content to hear negative....

Cancer biopsies.

Never fun. About a week ago, I had another biopsy. And then I waited. And waited. It usually seems like an eternity waiting for the results to come in.

NEGATIVE!!!!

That's the result of my latest biopsy. It was negative. Means no cancer found. YAY!!!!!!! I'm praising Jesus and doing a happy dance.

One Word

So I heard about this idea on Facebook to pick one word to focus on for the year. Rather than setting a bunch of unrealistic resolutions that are all broken in the first week, choosing one word helps you to focus. To work on one thing for the year. We are not perfect people. We will still mess up. There will be days when we forget that one word. There will be days when we choose to ignore that word and live a different path. But that one word can also cause you to pause and consider a new path. Different choices to make. A new habit to form. 

So in 2015, I'm going to try this idea. My word for the year is

INTENTIONAL 

How can I be INTENTIONAL this year?

Some possible ideas...

Be INTENTIONAL to love and serve my husband.

Be INTENTIONAL to set a schedule and keep it. 

Be INTENTIONAL to spend time in the Word that gives life and breath. 

Be INTENTIONAL to share that Word with others. 

Be INTENTIONAL to build relationships with people and get beyond the small talk. 

Be INTENTIONAL to educate my step kids...not only for school, but in matters of the heart and soul. 

Be INTENTIONAL to make decisions...with purpose and not flying by the seat of my pants or by just being lazy.

Those are just a few thoughts. But the important thing is to think about this word and find ways to live it. First step was a couple notes to hang to remind myself of the word and two areas where I'm looking first. 

I'm going to be INTENTIONAL in 2015. 

What's your focus? 

Questions

So many questions fill my mind. Most I may never have an answer to. And I'm learning to be okay with that. I don't have to understand everything. I don't have to be in control. Whew. That's hard to say. But I tend to mess things up when I try to control situations. Instead I'm realizing that I have to learn to trust. Oh but that is soooo hard sometimes. Being suspicious and cynical is just easier...or so it seems. But ultimately, it's not easier. It's no way to live. So instead I will extend trust. I will open my heart to others. And I will believe that the One who does hold all the answers will show me the next step to take. And then the next step. And the next. One step at a time. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

On the road

Depression. Anxiety. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Tears. Seemingly endless tears. 

These words accompany me every day. I've tried for months to shake them. My husband suggested I talk to someone. My dermatologist suggested I take medicine. My family doctor says both. 

I guess I need help. 

I've tried it on my own. 

It's not working. 

So why am I confessing this on the world wide web? Why am I airing my secret on a public blog? Because secrets aren't healthy. And stuffing all this inside for so long is part of why I'm now a mess. 

Depression is an odd thing. I'm sure it hits each person differently. For me, it crept in slowly. 

One untruth at a time. 

No. One lie at a time. 

Because let's face it, it's lies that are causing the depression and anxiety and fear and....

But that doesn't help. While I know they are lies and I know the truth, I can't seem to make the connection from my head to my heart. So I go on embracing the lies. Lies like I've disappointed God and He's done with me. Lies like I'll never be the wife that my husband needs. Or that I'm going to mess up the kids that God has entrusted to me. That I'm not worthy of my husband. He's so good to me. He keeps loving me even in my mess. His patience with me is helping me get through this. And he keeps reminding me that he's in this with me. And I'm so grateful. 

I feel weak. Helpless. And losing hope for change. 

But still I want to try. I'm not ready to give up. I don't know why God seems so silent and so stinkin far away. But something came to mind recently....perhaps that's exactly how the devil wants me to feel. Alone. 

Fighting a battle I can't win. 

Alone. 

Drowning in negative emotions. 

Alone. 

Crying myself to sleep. 

Alone. 

Wanting to be okay. 

Trying to keep the smile on my face. 

But knowing that inside I'm barely keeping it together. 

But not anymore. 

I don't want to hide anymore. 

So I'm blogging my secret.

It's time to bring it to light. 

Wednesday I cried to my pastor's wife and she hugged me. Have I mentioned that I LOVE hugs? Yesterday I started taking an anti depressant. Doc says it'll take a few weeks before I see the effects. And Monday I will meet with a Christian counselor at our church. I'm taking steps to get help, to bring my fears into the light. 

To anyone else who may be feeling similar things, let me say this....YOU ARE NOT ALONE. No matter how you feel, the truth is that you aren't alone. Talk to someone. Don't try to do this alone. We are meant for community. We are meant to bear each other's burdens. And while that may seem uncomfortable, it's also helpful and necessary. It's so easy for me to bear someone else's burden, to encourage and support them. But when it came to be my turn to let someone else help me, well that was....that is a lot harder. I wanted to think I was strong enough to handle this. Since I know the truth, I figured I should be able to work through this on my own. Well that's bogus. We are meant for community. So talk to someone. Let's walk this journey together. Let's bring this into the light. We are not alone. 

Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Matthew 11:28–30 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Sometimes I like to look up familiar passages in The Message just to read it again from a different perspective.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." - (Matt. 11:28-30, The Message)

I love the sentence, "learn the unforced rhythms of grace". As we face the many trials and struggles that most certainly will come our way as we journey with Christ, my prayer is that we learn the unforced rhythms of God’s amazing grace and allow His presence to help us re-imagine all that He desires to perform in us this season.

365 days

365 days ago, I went in for a biopsy on a mole on my leg. A slightly painful start to my birthday but I didn’t think too much of it.

359 days ago, I got an urgent call from my doctor’s office to come in right away. And then I heard those three words that brought a stop to my world….“you have cancer.” Malignant Melanoma which I promptly nicknamed M&M and even ate some M&M’s.

358 days ago, I went in for surgery on my arm and leg, including a skin graft for my leg. My two verses of the day were Philippians 4:7 – “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.” ~Isaiah 26:3

356 days ago, my brother & sister-in-law came to visit me which came as a shock and yet brought me great pleasure. I don’t get to see my brother very often and it was an amazing gift that he would take two days off school to be with me and help with my recovery.

349 days ago, I got the news that I was cancer free. It was a long 9 days waiting for this news! It was Valentine’s Day when the doctor told me the positive test results.

335 days ago, I was I was overwhelmed with pain and ready to give up. But I was also reminded that I was not alone. I was not treading that path by myself. I know He carried me.

334 days ago, I was reminded again by a friend that I was not alone. “You, child, are sheltered in the secret place of the Most High, and you abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  Stay close to Me.  Drop your burdens.  Drop them.  Give them all to Me.  Stay in My presence, and you shall overcome.”

333 days ago, I was telling myself that falling apart is okay because every day I felt like I was falling apart. Even though the test results were positive, the pain remained. The healing was taking oh so long.

332 days ago, I was learning a new lesson – to SLOW DOWN. Enjoy life at a slower pace. Trying to listen to Him. Letting go of fear. Resisting the lies of the enemy. Soaking in His truth. Praising God for His healing mercy. 

331 days ago, I had another surgery, this time on my back. I was so upset about yet another procedure which would leave me in even more pain. The verses I held on to were from Ephesians 6:10-18.

329 days ago, I found myself asking a lot of questions that began with “Why?” Why is the healing taking so long? Why is trusting God such a tough thing to do? Why can’t I sleep? And so many more questions flooded my mind. The key verse for me that day was Proverbs 3:5-6.

319 days ago, a poster I made the year before became something of a lifeline for me as I continued to process fear and questions and work through the pain….

STOP.... ....beating yourself up ....putting yourself down ....dwelling on the negative ....dwelling on your insecurities ....anticipating the worst Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

START.... ....trusting in God's love ....accepting love from others ....believing in His total forgiveness ....trusting in God's goodness ....accepting gifts from Father God The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? ... Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. ~Psalm 27:1, 14

310 days ago was my final surgery – on my head. While I was nervous, I was also relieved to know that there was finally an end in sight!

261 days ago, I hit a milestone….with a heavy heart. It had been 13 weeks since I heard the news that I was CANCER FREE!  It was a milestone for me and yet it was a bittersweet moment as I considered so many that I know who are still in the midst of their fight with cancer.  Or those whose fight is now done and they've gone on before us.  If you know someone in the midst of their fight with cancer, wrap your arms around them and say, "I love you."  Just be there with them.  One of the best gifts I received was simply the presence of people.  Even if I didn't want to talk, just to have another person in the room was an incredible gift.  Each person's fight with cancer looks different but one thing is always true. Cancer sucks. So I marked that milestone with a heavy heart for those still fighting and for those who have lost someone to cancer. 

249 days ago, this verse was so important to me…."In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." ~Romans 8:26-27

248 days ago, I was clinging to Psalm 119, "Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path."

195 days ago, I was embracing the adventure of life as I stepped out and began to feel “normal” again. Sometimes I do seek out the adventure.  Mostly though, I'm trying to figure out the adventure that we call life in Christ.  When you say yes to Jesus, your life becomes an adventure in Him.  He may lead you on paths that you never anticipated.  He may allow situations in your life that you never thought you could live through.  But those adventures lived in Him are not lived alone.  You don't face those things in your own strength.  Rather, we have a Savior who loves us and who gives us what we need to face the adventures He puts before us.  My adventure has more questions than answers.  A lot of jumbled thoughts and crazy ideas.  And too often words spoken without thinking.  But each day, I learn more.  Each week, I grow up just a little bit.

177 days ago, I was celebrating a 6 month milestone. Six months since the first surgery. Six months since life came to a screeching halt. God brought healing to my leg. He strengthened me and kept me focused on recovering the right way. He taught and is teaching me so much every day. I'm in awe of His grace and I need it more each day. I'm humbled by His mercy and overwhelmed by His love. Every day feels like another gift, another chance to become more like Jesus. And even though I fail Him time after time, He keeps loving me and drawing me back to Himself.

149 days ago, I got to participate in a 4 mile walk and my leg didn’t hurt!!


146 days ago, I was reminded that religion is spelled D-O. It's about rules and tasks and adding up all the good things you can DO in your short life. But it'll never be enough and it's just plain tiring. Christianity is spelled D-O-N-E. Jesus did it all. He paid it all on the cross. He did what we can't. He paid the price. For me. For you. And he wants us to trust Him. This world is not our home and we're only here a short time.... 

140 days ago, I was so tired. Tired of the demands of life. Tired of feeling overwhelmed. Tired of the silence. Tired of the endless noise. Just tired. Tired but clinging to hope. Choosing to rest in my Jesus. Knowing that He is in control. Knowing that He loves me. Rest. That word was balm to my weary soul.

134 days ago, my little brother’s third daughter was born and I am a proud aunt to Elsa Joy.

130 days ago, I was living in the white space and yet learning to choose joy and faith. Choosing to dig even deeper into the word that is the lamp for my feet and the light for my path. Believing that He is going to guiding me. Trusting Him to give me His wisdom, in His perfect time.

122 days ago, I just wanted more of God. More of His love. More of His grace. More.


119 days ago, I was breaking the mold and shocking police officers because I don’t fit their expectation of someone who helps recover stolen heavy equipment. And I was challenged to consider what labels I apply to others that probably aren’t fair to them.

And on and on and on I could go. 365 days of memories. 365 days of life lessons. 365 days of tears, laughter, pain and healing. 365 days of God’s grace. 365 days of God’s unending faithfulness.

What will the next 365 days hold for me?

For you?


(1,550 words)

Yearning

"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." ~Psalm 84:2

 

Is that true? Does my soul yearn for the courts of the Lord? Can this really be said of me? Does my heart and flesh actually cry out for the living God? What does my soul yearn for? What is the cry of my heart and my flesh?

This week I’m thinking about cravings. What do I crave? What do I want to crave versus what do I actually crave? Can my cravings be tamed or even changed?

Craving. A powerful desire for something.

Longing.

Yearning.

Hankering.

Appetite.

Ache.

So often these words are used in reference to food. We crave certain foods. Chocolate. Ice cream. Strawberries. Mexican food. Red Robin. Fruit. Just to name a few of my recent cravings. If I focus on these cravings for too long, chances are pretty good that I’m going to do something about the craving. I’m going to indulge in whatever it is that I’m hankering for. Not all cravings are bad. It would be great if I craved fruit and veggies even more than I currently do! My body would thank me! But all too often, I crave the foods that are not healthy, the foods that will not help me achieve my goal of being healthier. Which craving is stronger….the one to eat junk foods or the one that wants to get healthier? That depends on the day!

In the verse above, the psalmist is talking about his own cravings. His spiritual cravings. He has a powerful desire for something. Someone. When we hear someone talk about cravings in these types of words (years, faints, cry out), we may be tempted to roll our eyes and think they are being rather dramatic. But when you apply these words to our spiritual cravings, it has a whole different meaning. I want to yearn for God. I want to cry out for the living God. I want to have a craving, a powerful desire for Him. A longing for God that can’t be satisfied with the junk of this world.

Why do I crave the junk of this world that won’t satisfy? Why do I settle for less? What gets in the way of me having a craving for God?

Busyness.

A hectic life.

Loneliness.

Stress.

Frustration.

Even ministry, that is doing for God, can get in the way of me craving God and just wanting to be with Him.

Right now, for me, it comes down to priorities. How am I prioritizing my time? What am I placing the most importance on? That question is easily answered by looking at how I spend my time. If I crave God and yearn to be with Him, then my time will be spent seeking Him, praying, listening to Him. When that craving gets shoved aside for the junk of this world, I can find myself stressed, too busy, confused and not living in the peace of Christ.

 
Matthew 6:33 says to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

I want to seek God above all else this year. I want to be able to cry out with the Psalmist and say, “My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”

Lord, help me to crave You.

(582 words)

It's worth it

I am on a journey to getting healthier. It began 21 months ago with a random decision to meet with a personal trainer. My friend Crys and I met with Mike for 8 sessions. The first session was torture. I could barely walk afterwards. But something sparked in me. I wanted more. I kept going back.

Again and again. And again.

Even after Crys stopped coming, I kept meeting with Mike.

Week after week. After week.

After a couple months, I decided to start focusing on nutrition too. I tracked my calories, tried to drink more water and attempted to make healthier choices. It was so hard! But it paid off. The weight started coming off. It’s a long, slow road. I’ll do well for a while with consistently working out and paying attention to my nutrition. But then I’ll stop focusing on it. And then I plateau.  After about 15 months of working with Mike, I took a break. I just didn’t have the money to keep up with it. So I started running again on my own. And then I hurt my foot. Plantar fasciitis. Ugh. Months of inflammation and pain.

Then today happened.

I woke up at 4am feeling eager to get to the gym. Too bad it doesn’t open until 5am. But this was the morning that I would meet with Mike again. After about 6 months off, it was good to see him. He has changed some of his methods. Now I will be going through stations of exercises, working both upper body and lower body as well as getting a good cardio workout. Today we did 2 of 5 stations. It felt good. Of course it was hard and I was sore but it felt good. I was energized.  And the energy carried into my day. Sure I may be tired tomorrow but today it was so worth it.

I don’t have all the answers to health. I don’t have a bunch of new habits. I certainly don’t have it all figured out. But I am learning. I am growing in understanding. I read and I soak in new principles. And I am trying. That’s probably the most important piece of this whole thing. I am trying. For years I have wanted to get healthier but didn’t take any steps to do something about it. But this is a new day. Today I took yet another step forward. Even if I just got done taking 3 steps back. I remember reading somewhere that when you want to make a change but it seems big and daunting and you are not sure how to tackle it, just start somewhere. Start somewhere. This is my starting point. Working out. It hurts. It feels good. It kicks my butt. It give me energy. It is worth it.

My desire is to honor God with my body. Working out and making healthier choices are just a couple small steps toward that goal. And as hard as it is at time, I think it’s a goal worth striving toward.

(510 words)

Boxes and labels

Why do we put people in boxes?

Why do we label people without even knowing them?

Why do we rush to judgments before giving someone a chance?

Why do we make assumptions when we don't know the whole story?

These questions ran through my mind this morning while working with law enforcement on some identification training. You might think after 4.5 years and hundreds of officers trained that I would be used to the comments and the expression of surprise, but it never ceases to amaze and amuse me.

Generally, I get one of four responses, though the actual words may differ slightly....

"You look young, you sound even younger and you're a girl...what could you possibly know about heavy equipment?"

"No one as pretty and sweet as you should be in this line of work."

"You are a woman in a man's world. You must just be the secretary. Move over and let me talk to your boss."

"Are you married?"

These labels are applied when someone first calls for help and are shocked to hear a woman's voice. Or I hear these comments when I'm out delivering training. My reaction is always amusement. I actually enjoy shocking these people. I feel comfortable with my job and while I don't know everything about backhoes and bulldozers, I do know enough to do my job well. And I know who to ask when my knowledge fails me. I take pleasure in shocking them because I want them to reconsider their labels and perhaps next time they won't be so quick to label someone. At least that's my hope.

But today I was struck with a little sadness about the way we label people when we don't even know them. Perhaps we use a tiny bit of information to form a judgment that often ends up inaccurate. It's especially dangerous if our labels close us off from truly getting to know someone or allowing them out of the box that we put them in. Maybe labels are a way for our brains to process. Maybe we need boxes to help us make sense of life and the overwhelming amount of information that floods us. Maybe. But we still need to hold those labels and boxes loosely and allow people to be who they really are, not who our labels say they should be.

Let me challenge us today to not get stuck on labels. Don't focus on the box. Just give people permission to be themselves.

Yes I'm a woman who knows heavy equipment and even enjoys talking about machines.
Yes I get excited when I see big machines at work doing cool stuff and I don't mind slowing down for road construction because it gives me a chance to watch.
Yes I can tell you how to identify machines and where to find components.
Yes I am young and sound even younger on the phone but you might want to add a decade when you guess my age.
But I'm also a woman who loves working with kids and will cry when I see them loving Jesus with such innocent faith. I enjoy public speaking and teaching but also want to know an individual's story. I will watch the occasional chick flick but prefer a good sports movie. I'm more comfortable discussing theology and the Bible than corporate politics and wish I had more Bible/faith conversations. I love to write...anything from stories to poems to devotionals and Bible studies but sometimes struggle to find the right words during important conversations. I'd rather throw a frisbee or take a walk than go shopping. Actually there's a long list of things I'd choose to do rather than have to go shopping.
My point is that I'm a mix of interests and hobbies and skills and even some drama. :)

If you find a label for that, let me know. The most common one I hear is "weird" and I'm okay with that because I'm okay with being me. Let's be okay with letting people be themselves. It'll save us all a lot of headaches.

In the meantime I'm going to keep breaking the mold and creating shock among police officers.

More

Tonight I want more
More of God
More of His love
More of His grace
More

I want more
More than ordinary
More than the status quo
More than average
More

I want more
More than just a phone call
More than a quick hello
More than this
More

I don't want more possessions
But I want to possess more love
I don't want more belongings
But I want to belong where I am

A desire for more is not always selfish
But it is rooted in a sense of discontent
Perhaps some discontent is not all bad

Tonight I want more

A light for my path

Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path. ~Psalm 119:105

Consider a lamp shining in the darkness. Generally speaking, a lamp lights up just a few feet in front of you, not a mile down the road. A light is not going to show you what's around the corner, it's going to show you what is right in front of your feet.

So often, I want to see a mile down the path of life. I want to know what's around the next bend. I want to know what the next chapter holds. But that's not how life works. I love this verse that reminds me that His word is the lamp and the light. His word is the guide for my way.

You ever read a book and come to the end of a chapter and there is blank white space? One chapter has ended, but the other has not quite begun. There is white space in between. Right now I feel like I'm living in that white space. Some things in life seem to be wrapping up and changing in ways I wasn't prepared for. And for some time, I've felt a tugging on my heart, a pull in a different direction. What direction? I have no clue. I don't know what the next chapter holds. I don't know what's around the next bend. All I know is today.

And instead of getting lost in doubt and confusion, I am choosing joy and faith. Choosing to dig even deeper into the word that is the lamp for my feet and the light for my path. Believing that He is going to guiding me. Trusting Him to give me His wisdom, in His perfect time.

For now, I'm living in the white space....

I am tired

Tonight I am tired
Tired of the to do lists
Tired of the demands of life
Tired of feeling overwhelmed

Tonight I am tired
Tired of doing, doing, doing
Tired of the silence
Tired of the endless noise

Tonight I am tired
Tired of the headache
Tired of the fight
Tired of seeking without finding

I am tired
So I'm going to bed
Knowing that tomorrow is a new day
Tomorrow I can start over
Tomorrow holds the promise of hope
And peace
And the answers that I seek

Tonight I am tired
So I'm choosing to rest in my Jesus
Rest.
Knowing He is in control.
Rest.
Knowing He loves me.
Rest.
That word is balm to my weary soul.

The best is yet to come

Six months ago today I went in for surgery on my leg and came out with a skin graft (and terrible pain to go with it). Six months ago life came to a screeching halt as I couldn't move until my leg healed. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's already been six months (usually the days when my leg aches and I wonder if it'll ever stop). Other days it seems like it's been way longer (usually when I'm out jogging/walking and I marvel at how far God has brought me). That's just it....it was God that brought me to this point. He brought healing to my leg. He strengthened me and kept me focused on recovering the right way. He taught and is teaching me so much every day. I'm in awe of His grace and I need it more each day. I'm humbled by His mercy and overwhelmed by His love. Every day feels like another gift, another chance to become more like Jesus. And even though I fail Him time after time, He keeps loving me and drawing me back to Himself. So today I celebrate 6 months as a milestone of God's work in me. The best is yet to come!!!

Do it now!

I loved this article by Rick Warren.  These three words can not only change your ministry, but it could change your life.  I am often the queen of procrastination so I think of these words frequently when I'm considering putting something off.

 Three Words That Will Change Your Ministry: DO IT NOW!

By Rick Warren

Procrastination has a high cost. For instance, according to one study by H&R Block, Americans pay an average of $400 a year more because we put off doing our taxes and then, we rush at the last minute and make mistakes that cost us more money.

And the cost of procrastination in ministry can be significantly higher. For us, procrastination isn’t measured in dollars; it is measured in ministries never started, people with needs going unmet, and those who are spiritually lost never hearing the gospel.

The Bible says, “Remember, it’s a sin to know what you ought to do and then not to do it.” (James 4:17 NLT) When God calls you to do something, but you don’t do it, it’s not just a bad strategy or a missed blessing. It is sin.

If God has called you to do something in your ministry and you are not doing it, do it now. Not next month, next week, or even tomorrow – do it right now. Proverbs 21:1 says, “Don’t brag about tomorrow, since you don’t know what the day will bring.” (NLT) None of us is guaranteed a tomorrow. You may not have the opportunity to do what God has called you to do tomorrow. You could be saying you’ll do it someday. That someday is today! One of these days is none of these days.

Do it today. Start right now!

I talk to guys who say they’re planning to do something in ministry. And I always want to ask, “When are you going to pull the trigger?” They’ve been taking aim for years; yet, they never seem to get around to pulling the trigger.

Don’t be like that. You need to pull the trigger. These three words could change your ministry forever: DO IT NOW!

Spend a few minutes RIGHT NOW and write down one thing you know God wants you to do in your ministry. Whatever it is, write it down and then put that note in a place where you can’t miss it — like on your bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator.

But don’t just write it down. Don’t just read it on your refrigerator. Do it — now! Every time you catch yourself saying you’ll do it later, it should be a warning light that says you’re procrastinating. There’s no better time than now. This is the moment of truth. There’s got to be a time in your life when you stop intending and start acting. Stop making excuses.

NASA says that getting the rocket off the launch pad requires the most amount of energy. Once the rocket is in orbit, it takes a lot less energy to keep moving forward. That’s why you need to get started now. The initial thrust will start you moving forward.

Productivity and Motivation

Motivation and productivity can come and go in different seasons.  When I get too busy, my productivity tends to decrease because I'm juggling too much and can't devote full attention to the tasks at hand.  Motivation might wane when I get sick or tired and even just emotional (the joys of womanhood :) ).  I came across this article from Rick Warren called "17 Tips for Staying Productive in Ministry."  Although addressed to pastors, I think there's a lot of useful advice here.  And definitely some tips that I want to incorpate in my days.

Pastors, we tend to share a lot throughout the year. Some of you are preparing two or three messages and presentations every week. When you repeat that process 52 times in a year, life gets exhausting. How do you stay motivated to keep going?

Let me share with you how I’ve managed to motivate myself. Here are seventeen things you can do to keep yourself motivated.

1. Put your plans on paper.
Write out what you want to accomplish. Spell it out. Dawson Trotman said, ”Thoughts disentangle themselves when they pass through the lips and the fingertips.” If I can say it and I can write it down, then it’s clear. If I haven’t written it down, then it’s vague.

A lot of us go around with anxiety which is this free-floating, vague fear that I’m not getting it all accomplished. Just the very fact of putting it down, a lot of times, gives credence and relief to your mind and you’re able to focus on it.

2. Break big tasks into small steps.
When I’m preparing a sermon, I think, “What do I have to do? I’ve got to collect the verses, study the verses, look for illustrations, think through quotes, organize the presentation.” Think through all the steps. Sermons don’t just fall out automatically. There are some logical things you have to go through.

3. Decide how you want to start
Ask yourself what needs to be done first.

4. Establish checkpoints and check your progress.
Set some deadlines. Write a date on each of the tasks.

5. Know the difference between “I can’t” and “I don’t want to.”
It was Ben Franklin who first said, “There’s no gain without pain.” The secret of success in one sentence: Successful people have developed the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don’t feel like doing.

6. Remind yourself of the benefits of completing the job.
Jesus did this. The Bible says in Hebrews, that Jesus endured the cross because He looked to the joy beyond it. He looked beyond the cross and saw the result of it.

7. Do a small part of it right now.
In other words, Get started. Do a small part of it right now. Don’t stall. Take it a bite at a time and give it five minutes.

8. Be optimistic.
I have found this to be so important in accomplishing large amounts of activities and projects and programs. Optimism creates energy.

9. Establish and action environment.
Clear everything else off your desk except for the task at hand.

10. Avoid situations that might tempt you to procrastinate.
Avoid places or situations that distract you. That’s why I don’t do any of my sermon study at the office. The walls are really thin there and I can hear everybody having a good time outside and I’m a party animal. I want to have fun! I don’t want to be sitting and studying. I want to be out there with people. So I have to study at home to keep myself from having a great time with all these people I love at the office. And they appreciate it too!

11. Know your energy patterns and take advantage of peak times.
Some of you are morning people. Some of you are night people. Have you learned that at some points in the day, you are brighter than at other times? You’re more alert, you have more energy. There are times when you’re habitually at your best. The only people who are at their best all the time are mediocre people.

12. Recognize when indecision is creating inertia.
A lot of procrastination is not really procrastination, it’s indecision. A lot of pastors have to deal with this. Identify your choices and choose one. Don’t let it set around.

13. Use visible reminders.
I like to use Post-It Notes to remind me of things I’ve got to do. I collect anti-procrastination slogans, such as…

• Tomorrow is too late.
• Do the worst first.
• Doing gets it done.
• Tomorrow is never.
• Make the day count.
• Doing beats stewing.
• In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
• Do it anyway.
• Get the Now habit.
• Get a “round tuit.”
• Be a doer not a dawdler.
• Why wait?
• If not today, when?
• You don’t find the time, you make time.
• Make it happen.
• If you have to do it, do it now.
• Do it or ditch it.
• Only turkeys procrastinate
• Lead-time is the gift only I can give myself.
• Beginning is half done.
• Move ahead or move aside
• Winners don’t wait
• Choose this day to use this day.

14. Give yourself the right to make mistakes.
Don’t demand perfection. Perfectionism produces procrastination. Perfectionism paralyzes us. If it’s worth doing, do it whether you do it perfectly or not. There are very few things in this world that are perfect.

15. Don’t set goals you don’t expect to reach.
There is absolutely no motivation in a fake goal.

16. Enlist a partner.
If you’ve got a big task and it’s up to you, you’ll probably procrastinate. But if you’ve got somebody else and can say, “We’re going to meet and get this thing going”, you’re more likely to get it done.

17. Read books that increase your skills.
If you have a hard time recruiting people to your ministry, go get a book on recruitment and read it. If you’re having a hard time delegating responsibility, get a book. If you’re having a hard time speaking in a Bible study, get a book on public communication.

Now, what have you been putting off that you need to get motivated and get accomplished?

Source: http://pastors.com/productivity-tips/

Coffee and community

I'm sitting at a coffee shop this afternoon, sipping a Mayan Mocha, reading my Bible and another book. And I'm struck by the idea of coffee and community.  This particular coffee shop, Leaves & Beans in Morton is one of my favorite haunts.  I've got my comfy chair, books on each its arms, coffee on the little coffee table in front of me and a great view.  I can people watch, both inside and out.  I see people at Dairy Queen across the street, enjoying their treats.  I see a couple on a bench slowly eating ice cream and watching cars go by.  I see a young couple with their baby, laughing and feeding each other ice cream.  I see a dad with 2 young boys, perhaps enjoying the first ice cream of the season.

Inside the coffee shop, I had a little chat with the barista.  Nice gal.  A couple college age guys are hanging out, looks like they're checking out the barista.  Two ladies are sipping iced tea and talking about husbands and grandkids and budgets.  An older gentleman and his wife just pulled up - he comes in for coffee, she runs over to Dairy Queen.

What is it about a coffee shop that breeds community?  Coffee drinker or not, people gather at coffee shops to talk, to laugh, to cry, to fight. 

I've seen people study for school, study their Bible, study others in the shop or just study the technology in front of them. 

I've watched couples talk through tough subjects while other couples plan their wedding. 

I've seen the start of a first date and watched others break up. 

I've seen groups with their heads bowed in prayer while others express their anger and frustration about God.

I've watched as someone came in alone and sad, only to find spontaneous community with a friend and their countenance visibly lifted.

What is it about a coffee shop that breeds community?  And can we create that same community in our homes?  In our churches? 

I love hanging out in coffee shops.  I am content to come alone, watch people, read my books and sip my coffee.  But more often I love the random conversations that can take place.  I love meeting a friend and deepening our friendship.  I love to look for that person who came in alone and sad and go over and offer a smile and a kind word.  I love the openness of most people in a coffee shop, the topics that naturally arise that you may not talk about otherwise.  I love the God moments that I've witnessed or been a part of.  I love to sit and pray for those I encounter in the coffee shop.

There's something beautifully messy about coffee shop community.  And I love every moment of it.

Light my path

Driving home through the country tonight.
Darkness all around.
No street lights.
But lightning streaks the sky.
Then darkness once again fills the air.

It made me think of life.
At times, it feels like darkness.
You can't see too far in front of you.
You wonder if you're headed in the right direction.
You question your surroundings.

But as I read Psalm 119, I thought about lightning.
When all seem questionable.
When the path seems unclear.
When the darkness closes in.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path." ~Psalm 119:105

Just like the lightning lit my path home tonight,
So too the word of God is a light for my path in life.
His word shows me the way.
He word reveals his will for me.
His word shines light in the darkness of life.

Lightning is beautiful.
How much more beautiful and amazing is His light.

Do you have E.S.P.?

I need to develop E.S.P. in my relationships.

Encourage. Support. Pray.

E.S.P.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." ~2 Corinthians 13:11

Encouragement is about giving support, confidence and hope to someone. Cheering on your friends and family in the messy journey of life. Reminding them that they're not alone, that someone has their back.

Supporting friends and family is closely related to encouragement. To support means to bear all or part of the weight of or to hold up.

"Your words have supported those who stumbled; you have strengthened faltering knees." ~Job 4:4

 

May these words that were spoken of Job also be true in my life.

 

Prayer. So often overlooked. So often used as a last resort. We say, "all I can do is pray," as though prayer is not a big deal. We must realize that prayer is a powerful weapon that God has given us. We should become people of prayer, just as Jesus was.

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." ~Mark 1:35

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." ~Luke 15:16

 

In every situation, we can pray. Even if we don't know the words to say, we can pray about it.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:6-7

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." ~Romans 8:26-27

 

Never underestimate the power of prayer. We may not always see answers in our timing but we can rest knowing that God hears our prayers.

"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." ~1 Peter 3:12

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 

So E.S.P. should be practiced in all our relationships. Have you tuned in today?

A Milestone and a Heavy Heart

It's been almost 13 weeks since I heard the news that I was CANCER FREE!  In some ways it's hard to believe that it's been that long.  In other ways, it seems like it was way more than 3 months ago.  This week marks a milestone in my journey with cancer.  But it's a bittersweet moment as I consider so many that I know who are still in the midst of their fight with cancer.  Or those whose fight is now done and they've gone on before us. 

When you hear the "C" word in reference to your own situation, there's an array of emotions that arise....some right away, some over the following days and weeks.  Your life has just been turned upside down and the emotions hit like a mack truck.

There is shock that this is happening.  Even though cancer seems so prevelant in our society, it's still a shock when it happens to you. 

There is fear that rises.  Especially if you've known others whose fight with cancer didn't end with a milestone like this one.  And there's fear in the unknown.  There may be fear in the many tests that you face or fear of leaving loved ones behind.  The fear often comes when you're least prepared for it, like in the middle of the night when you're tired and desperately need sleep but the fear just overwhelms you.

Perhaps anger will accompany the "C" word as you wonder why this had to happen.  Anger at the apparent injustice of your situation.  Anger can also lead to another emotion....

Powerlessness.  Although there are things you can do to fight the battle, there's also a sense of powerlessness that can come over you as you wait for surgery results or for drugs to kick in or for lab results.

And perhaps the hardest emotions that I personally faced was the loneliness and even some depression that landed on me like a load of bricks.  All too often I would hear someone utter the words, "Oh, I understand" when I told them how I was feeling.  Sometimes it took all my strength not to respond with cynical questions.  I knew they said they understood because often they didn't know how else to respond.  Or perhaps it was their way of sympathizing with my situation.  But it often caused me frustration as I longed for someone who truly did understand and could help me process what I was feeling and thinking. 

There's so much more I could reflect on, but for now I just want to end with this.  If you know someone in the midst of their fight with cancer, wrap your arms around them and say, "I love you."  Just be there with them.  One of the best gifts I received was simply the presence of people.  Even if I didn't want to talk, just to have another person in the room was an incredible gift.  Each person's fight with cancer looks different but one thing is always true.

Cancer sucks.

So I mark this milestone with a heavy heart for those still fighting and for those who have lost someone to cancer.  My heart aches for you.

Controlling and Conquering Stress

As I mentioned in my last post, here is a list of some ways to control & conquer stress.  The full list has 52 items but I just picked a few of my favorites. 

Drink more OJ.

Put a green dot on your phone.

Go to Starbucks - with a group.

Shake it out.

Listen to music at work.

Shut up and smile.

Run fast (bike hard, punch the heavy bag, etc)

Hit the sauna after your workout.

Find a breathtaking view.

Say you're sorry.  By acknowledging that you may have made a mistake or hurt someone else, you can help clear the air, and that will reduce your stress level.

Forgive.  Realizing that you can't control someone else's behavior is difficult, but it's one of the best ways to destress.

Ditch the dingy shower curtain. 

Play in the dirt.

Call a friend.

Hold your partner's hand for 10 minutes....loving contact lowers blood-pressure and heart-rate responses in stressful situations.

Turn it into a game

Make a schedule.

Find the good. 

Chug a big glass of cold water.

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