Take a step

I just posted this on Facebook but wanted to share it here as well......

Every journey begins with a single step. Kind of sounds cheesy but it's true. I said that last night to a friend and then it got me to thinking about a journey I'm currently on....the journey to being more healthy, to honoring God with my body.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I've heard it said that people don't change. But I firmly believe that God can change a person, including their habits. I'm a walking testimony of that! When we finally quit trying to do things our own way, it's amazing how much God can work in us. It's amazing what can happen when I stop striving in my own strength and instead begin to seek another Source.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Everything.
Even losing weight.
Everything.
Even learning new eating habits.
Everything.
Even becoming a runner (well that's still in progress).
Everything.

Looking back, I guess it started the day I told my friend, Crys, "let's meet with a personal trainer." I think God was working in me even before that to begin to want to make changes but that's the starting block that I can look back on and see the change begin. For years I was bothered by my weight but never did anything. For years I felt guilty about how I treated this temple of the Holy Spirit. For years I had berated myself about not honoring God with my body. Each year I made New Year's Resolutions to do better. To try harder. Guess how well that worked? But now I feel a passion inside me to stop talking and start taking steps. Sometimes just baby steps. But even a baby step is forward progress.

My next step comes on January 14th....that's the night I begin 12 weeks of concentrated focus in getting healthy, eating better and improving my running. I'm going to attend cooking school, take a nutrition class and meet with a running coach. Because this is important to me. Because I think this matters. Because I believe I'm honoring God in this endeavor.

Want to join me? I don't mean you have to join me in the exact activities that I'm doing - though someday I'd love to find a running partner as slow as me. :-) Perhaps losing weight or running isn't the journey you need to begin. Maybe it's a bad habit you want to kick to the curb. Maybe it's a good habit that you want to cultivate in your life. Are you honoring God with your body? If not, what step might you take to begin a new journey?

Remember that passion I mentioned above? Well it also extends to others. I've found a deep desire to encourage others in their journey. There have been some key people along my journey who have been and still are encouraging me, praying for me and cheering me on. I want to pass that on. Do you need encouragement or prayer? Maybe you're ready to stop talking and start taking steps in your journey.

One of the things I've learned is that this journey is best done with others. I used to be embarrassed to talk about my weight or to say anything that might draw attention to how I look because I wasn't pleased with myself.

But you know what?
God is pleased with me.
He loves me right here in the midst of my mess.
He loves me even when I take three steps forward and two steps back.
And you know what else?
Everyone is on a journey.
We all have areas of growth that need to be pursued in our lives.
You might just be surprised at how accepting and encouraging people are when you begin to share your journey.
I, for one, would LOVE to hear about your journey.
I would love to encourage you, to cheer you on, to kick butt with you.
And I would be honored to pray for you.
Those aren't empty words either. I truly would love to pray for you in your journey.

If you need more encouragement to take that first step, check out my journey to becoming a runner: http://hugaboom.blogspot.com/search/label/Running
So what's your first step?

You just run

"If you run, you are a runner.
It doesn't matter how fast or how far.
It doesn't matter if today is your first day
or if you've been running for twenty years.
There is no test to pass,
no license to earn,
no membership card to get in.

You just run."

~John Bingham

You know you're a runner when.....

Found a website that had a list called "You know you're a runner when...." I picked out a few that currently apply to me as well as some that I look forward to being able to say are true about me.  For the link to the full list, see the bottom of this post.

You know you're a runner when.....
~you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile

~you get an invitation to a wedding and you automatically think about what race the date will conflict with - just had that thought recently....even wondered if I could squeeze in the race without upsetting the bride (I was a bridesmaid)

~you're always hungry

~you no longer hate port-a-johns. In fact, there have been times when you've been very happy to see one - definitely had this experience after one race and while I still prefer a regular bathroom, I can appreciate a port-a-john

~you spend more time researching running routes than local restaurants when traveling to a new city - definitely done this!

~you know where exactly one mile from your front door is (in any direction) - well almost. I could tell you at least two directions

~you get jealous when you're driving in your car and pass runners

~you frequently get asked, "When's your next race?"

~you wear your running clothes for pajamas as to not waste any time getting out that door in the morning - ha! I've done this plenty of times

Ones I'm looking forward to saying someday:
~you can say things like "I'm just running an easy 6 miler today" and you really mean it
~you are still eager to run and to learn about running every day although you've been running for more than 30 years!
~you would rather run 10 miles than have your husband take you out for a nice steak dinner and a movie
~you get annoyed seeing that your GPS watch is still "Locating Satellites"
~you spent more timing researching a running watch than you did your car
~your runs are sometimes longer than your commute to work
~you always have your next race on the calendar
~one of the first things people ask you when they haven't seen you in a while is, "What race are you training for now?"
~you have running clothes and an extra pair of running shoes in your car, "just in case."
~you've had your running shoes for three months and you know it's already time to replace them
~you have a line in your budget for "race entry fees/race travel".

~your first thought when you look at the weekly weather forecast is, "When can I fit in my runs?"

See running website for the full list.

My journey to becoming a runner....part whatever I'm on....

Recently, I hit another milestone, I have lost over 25lbs!!! Most of my clothes don't fit anymore so I often wear baggy clothes. I hate shopping but I also don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes that won't fit in a few months.

But it does a heart good to hear comments like: "you look great!" or "Wow girl, you've lost weight!" Even though I'm not on this journey to impress others, it feels good when people notice the change.

Other comments have been harder to embrace:
"I didn't know you were a runner."

"You're going to love being a runner, there's nothing like it."

"You're a runner? You must be crazy."

Oh I am well aware that I can be crazy at times but each time these statements were made or one similar, I was quick to qualify it, "oh no, I'm not a runner, I'm just training for a race."

Huh? Is that possible? Can I run 3-4x/week for week after week and not be a runner?

Absolutely. At least in my mind.

Remember that first statement I made back in part 1? Running is almost more mental exercise than physical. It's absolutely amazing how much we can talk ourselves out of or in to.

Time and time again
I gave in to the voices that said I couldn't run
that it wasn't even worth trying.
Time and time again
I believed the lie that I should be ashamed of how I look
and the lie that there was nothing I could do about it.
Time and time again.

But there also comes a time to listen to Truth
to hear the voice of Him who made me
the Voice that says I am precious in His sight
the Voice that says He loves me just as I am
the Voice that says He sees me as beautiful
no matter how the world sees me
That is the Voice worth listening to
That is the Truth I must hold fast to
Time and time again.

And so today, I will run my first race. I've already run two straight miles so I know I can do it. Two dear friends will run by my side. Other friends will run ahead of me but I know they're cheering me on. Still more friends will be in the crowd to support me and the others who run. I'm almost in tears as I write this. The love and encouragement that I've received from others has been nearly overwhelming at times.

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, running is changing my life. It's changing how I view myself, how I view others and even how I view God. I sense a new confidence in me, not an ego, but a confidence to see myself through God's eyes. He is giving me confidence in His view of me, confidence to believe that how He views me is really the truth.

I see others differently too....I find myself encouraging others to try running and I feel a deep compassion when I see fear or hurt in their eyes as they tell me they can't run. I get that. I've been there. In some ways, I'm still there. And I love them more and more. I want to shout from the rooftop, if I can do this, so can you. The hardest part is telling those voices in your head to shut up and then getting started.

And it's changing how I view God and my relationship with Him. As I run, I sense Him changing me, showing me things about Himself. And I find myself crying out to Him more and more.

So do I consider myself a runner? Not yet, but I'm getting there. Perhaps today's race will help with that. If not, there's always next month when I'll be doing my first 5K.

Okay folks, here I go.....TIME TO RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

My journey to becoming a runner....part 4

August 14, 2012.....it was time to try again. It seems like multiple people in my life were now encouraging me to try running. What was wrong with all these people? Who decided they should all gang up on me????

And yet.

Maybe the problem wasn't them.
Maybe the problem was me.

Maybe I should stop telling myself "I can't"
when I serve a God who says, "That's okay, I AM."
Maybe I should stop trusting in myself
thinking I had to find the strength all by myself to start running.
Maybe I should trust in God my Creator
and believe that He could help me do this.

So it was that on August 14th, I added an app on my phone called "Couch to 5K." I also signed up for a 2 mile run which would take place just one month later (TOMORROW). I thought that having a milestone to shoot for might keep me motivated. The app has you go out 3x/week and operates through interval training so the first day I went out, I started with a 5 minute brisk walk. Then I alternated 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. And the cool part was when I hit "start" on the app, a countdown would begin and each time I had to switch between jogging and walking, it beeped at me to let me know. This freed me up to just focus....focus on my breathing, focus on my form and focus on God.

Really focus on God.
Time spent running became time spent praying, singing, worshipping.

There were days that I wanted to quit. Days when I didn't want to get up early. Days when I was too sore, too tired, too whatever. Days when the voices screamed so loud, I was sure others could hear them.

But I also began to tune in to another Voice. A Voice of Truth, of Love....a Voice that said I could do this, that I wasn't alone. And so I pressed on.

The training is a 9 week program to build you up to a 5K run but I only had 5 weeks before the race. I still figured this could work since the race was only 2 miles, not a 5K. About week 3, I think I strained or pulled my hamstring. I could barely walk, it hurt so bad. This wasn't the soreness that came from working out. I actually came to appreciate soreness....it helped me know that I had done something. But oh no, this was terrible pain in my leg. I limped around for 2 days before it finally started feeling better. Mike and I talked through stretching exercises to help me and the next week I started running again. (Did I mention that he might just be the best trainer ever?! Such a blessing to have his support!)

I couldn't give up. By this time, I had told lots of people that I was running the 2 mile Pumpkin Classic. I even invited a bunch of my friends to run with me and some of them took me up on the idea!

This week was week 5 of my training.
Day 1 - 5 minute warmup walk, then jog 5 minutes, walk 3 minutes, jog 5 minutes, walk 3 minutes, jog 5 minutes
Day 2 - 5 minute warmup walk, then jog 8 minutes, walk 5 minutes, jog 8 minutes
Day 3 - 5 minute warmup walk, jog 20 minutes with no walking

Up until this week, I had never varied from the prescribed training. Each day I jogged when it said jog and I walked when it said walk. But week 5, day 1 was a different story. I started jogging and toward the end of the 5 minutes, I decided to keep jogging. I ended up doing the day 2 regimen. And it went great! So I did it again on day 2. But day 3 which was two days ago....oh day 3 of week 5.

September 13, 2012....a day to be remembered. Prior to this day, I had never run an entire mile in my life. I always had to incorporate some walking. But this day was a new day. Because on this day, I RAN 2 MILES WITHOUT STOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right, not only did I run the 20 minutes that my app told me to run but I kept going until I had run an entire 2 miles.

And then I thought. Yes, I had a thought. What if I put this much effort and discipline into my journey with God? What if I spent this much time with Him? What if?

More to come....

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

My journey to becoming a runner....part 3

"You should try running."

I'll never forget the day that Mike said those words to me. I laughed at him. There was no way I could ever run. I'm too heavy, too out of shape. There's just no way.

"Just try it."

I stewed on those words for days. And I wanted to spit them out and forget that I'd ever heard of running. I even found myself mad at Mike for making such a ridiculous suggestion. He, of all people, should've known that I could never run. Then there were the voices. Yes, I confess, I hear voices. :) These voices in my head kept reminding me of all the reasons that I could never run. What about my foot injury? What will people say? What if someone laughs at me? I'll look ridiculous and could just imagine all the people thinking, "look out, fat girl coming through." Oh yes, these thoughts and more raced through my head for days.

I have no good way of explaining what happened next....one day in early July, I just went out and started jogging. I didn't know where I was going or how far I could make it but I had to start somewhere. Well trust me when I say I didn't make it very far! I didn't know a heart could beat so hard without flying out of my chest. I didn't know my lungs could breathe that fast. And I certainly didn't know how much I could sweat!! Oh my, that was an interesting day. But you know what? I felt great! Granted, I didn't run more than a block or two before needing a nice long walk. But that's not the point, the point is that I ran.

But then those voices started screaming at me. You can't do this. You can't run. Stop before you make a fool of yourself. You can't, you can't, you can't. And you know what, I accepted that. It took me almost two weeks before I talked myself into trying again. This time I waited until I was in Indiana for my brother's wedding. I figured no one knew me there so I didn't have to care what they thought of me. Bright and early one morning, I put on my shoes and started jogging. I made it a few more blocks then the first time. For the sake of full disclosure, I also got turned around and had to ask a cop how to get back to my brother's street....hahaha....but I RAN!

When I first started this chronicle, I said that running is almost more mental exercise than physical. Physically, running was hard. It kicked my butt. Once again, I felt the soreness in every part of my body. But mentally, running was a nightmare. I couldn't shake the feeling that I couldn't do this. Over and over, I kept telling myself that I couldn't do it. I could never be a runner.

And the voices in my head won. I didn't run again for another month. Sure, I kept meeting with Mike. By the point, we had switched to working out 3 mornings a week at 5am and we would alternate upper body and lower body. After most sessions, I would also spend 10-15 minutes on the stair master. But I knew I could never run. There were just too many obstacles to overcome....most of which were in my head.

(coming soon....Couch to 5K, the app)
Part 1
Part 2

My journey to becoming a runner....part 2

My time with Mike did not start out great. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy! We have lots of fun in our sessions. It's been a joy to hear about his family - he tells some great stories of the adventures that he and his wife have with their kids. Somewhere along the way, we became friends and that's been fun to see. 5am is super early and I'm barely awake which often makes me say silly stuff so there tends to be a lot of laughter and joking around. Who says working out has to be all about grunting and groaning? Although let me assure you, there's been some of that too. Somehow letting out a grunt helps me push through those last few reps. Who knew a grunt could be so effective? :)

But after about 6 weeks, I was annoyed. I hadn't lost any weight, in fact, I thought I might have gained a pound or two. How does that work?! I honestly thought that meeting with Mike would be the miracle cure to my weight issues. A few sessions with him and the weight would be melting away. Ugh. That's not how it works. It takes hard work, effort, discipline. Oh yeah, and nutrition.

About the beginning of June, I began to think about nutrition. I asked Mike for some tips and boy did he have a lot! He even sent me recipes for healthy meals that are actually filling.  I started using an app called My Fitness Pal which helps me track my caloric intake. That was a shocker! I didn't think I was eating a lot but it's amazing how fast the calories add up!!

And then I hit that first milestone....I LOST 10 POUNDS!!!!!!! You should have seen me doing the happy dance. I was in Virginia on a business trip when I stepped on the scale and saw that new number. I quickly sent Mike an email. I had to thank him for his help. He has been a huge part of my success in this journey. Day after day, he encourages me to keep at it. He pushes me to do more than I ever thought I could do. So I wrote him to say thanks and he responds with,

"That's great Holly! I think you are starting to find your groove. It's my pleasure to help, but it's your determination and the grace of God that's carrying the load :)"

How awesome is that?!?! And now my eyes were opened to God's part in this journey. Of course, He is part of everything we do but we don't always take the time to see Him, to acknowledge how much He has done for us and to thank Him for His hand at work. I've done a lot of praying about being healthier, about honoring God with my body and He is answering those prayers. He nudged me to sign up for personal training sessions. He put me with a fellow believer that would encourage me and keep my eyes on Christ. And God has strengthened me to follow through with the choices I'm making. It truly is only by the grace of God that this is working!

(coming up....the challenge to start running)

Part 1

My journey to becoming a runner....part 1

Is there a difference between someone who runs and a runner? I think so. But it's all in the mind of that person. Running is a mental exercise, almost more than it is physical.

I should back up. In Nov 2011, I decided that I wanted to get healthier, to lose weight, to work out, and ultimately, to honor Jesus with my body. After all, it's His temple. I joined a gym but rarely went. Secretly I found satisfaction just knowing that I was paying for a gym membership. But joining a gym doesn't make you healthy. There are still other steps you have to take. Early on in 2012, I discovered that a dear friend worked out at the same place. We began meeting periodically at 5am to work out. Gradually those workouts became more frequent.

And then it happened. They started offering personal training sessions at my gym. Something clicked in me and said "SIGN UP!" But that's crazy talk, the trainer will roll their eyes at me or make fun of me or I'll be self conscious or, or OR....how quickly the negative self talk rose up to discourage me. But my friend agreed to sign up with me for a trial session. On April 16, 2012, I meet with Mike for the first time. It was just a free session where we talked about goals and he tested me in various areas. It was a grueling 45 minutes. But again, something clicked in me and said "SIGN UP!" So I heeded that inner voice and immediately signed up for sessions....some would be partner sessions with my friend, others would be private sessions with just me and Mike. It's a good thing I signed up right away too because the next day, I was so sore I could barely walk and the last thing I wanted to do was meet with a trainer ever again.

But I did.

Twice a week, I met with Mike at 5am. One session, my friend would join us. We dove headlong into discovering muscles that I didn't know I had and finding new tortue methods for making those muscles as sore as possible.

That first month was killer. Every day I felt sore and tired and ready to give up. But I couldn't. Now two people were counting on me. My friend expected me to show up and work out with her. Mike expected me to be there....he didn't get paid if I didn't show up.

Trust me when I say that at this point, running had not even crossed my mind.

(Stay tuned for part 2, just as soon as I have time to write it!)