Defeated

Do you ever feel defeated and lonely and tired? 

Do you just want to give up and run away? 

I do. I have felt that way frequently, especially lately. It certainly doesn't help that I'm still awake after midnight. But then it is Christmas break. :) 

But really, do you know what I mean? I woke up this morning feeling so defeated and lost. I walked into church or limped in with a cane to be more accurate and flopped down in the back pew. I didn't even know why I'd come to church. Except that I wanted to see joyful people and sing Christmas carols and maybe, just maybe, find a little peace. 

But what I got was a message straight for me. A reminder that I am loved unconditionally by God. That nothing I can do would make Him love me more. And nothing I have done can make Him love me less. He knows my mess. He knows my drama. And He loves me. For me. Even when our earthly love is broken and tattered, we have a heavenly Love that surpasses it all. 

So I don't have to be defeated. I am not lost. Because God loves me. And God has found me. Right where I am. Right in the middle of mess. 

And that is the true beauty of Christmas.