Saturday, March 28, 2009

Lack of sleep, perceived isolation and perhaps some stress thrown in

I recently joined a Bible study. We are doing a Beth Moore study on the book of Esther called "It's Tough Being A Woman." It's really good. Some nights speak to me more than others. This week was one of those times. For about the past week, I haven't been sleeping well. I have no idea why. I go to bed between 10-11pm and fall asleep quickly. But then I wake up between 2-4am and I am awake the rest of the night. It's taking its toll on me that I'm not getting enough sleep.

So I arrive at Bible study this Thursday. I was so tempted to skip it because I just wanted to go to bed. This week we were talking about the false sense of aloneness that the devil likes to use to make us feel isolated from others. Good old emotional me had to start crying. It had been a tough day at work and combined with the lack of sleep, well I was more emotional than usual. When I was working at camp, I spent a lot of time with three girlfriends - Ember, Stacy & Carrie. Now, for various reasons, I hardly see any of them and it's been a shock to my system. I miss them.

So you add all this up (keeping in mind that lack of sleep makes everything seem worse) and I was feeling isolated this week. I go to Bible study, am greatly encouraged by our lesson and I start crying. Three women gathered around me and let me cry. Then they started talking. They told me how much they care for me. They let me know that they are here for me. One wants to be my mom, one my sister and one my friend. Between the three of them, they want to surround me, lift me up and support me in whatever I need. WOW!!! God's timing is not mine, but it is perfect. I needed to hear these words of encouragement. I needed to know that I was loved and supported. I am learning so much from these women and I am so grateful that God brought them into my life. It's not the same as being with Randy or seeing girlfriends my age, but it is a sweet fellowship that I am learning in enjoy.

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