Lately I've been reading Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely. That book title could be the title of my current season because that is how I feel. Every. Single. Day. Rejected. Alone. Unloved. And yet. God has chosen me. He promised to never leave me alone. He loves me with a love that I can't even begin to comprehend. And I came across a quote and then prayer toward the end of the book that could've been ripped from the pages of my journal because it just so clearly expresses the cry of my heart these days. I hope you read it, take a deep breath and say "Amen!" along with me.
"If I really believed that God's healing is more powerful than any hurt the world could ever hand me, I could trust God. I could trust His plans. I could move forward by saying, 'Yet not what I will, but what You will'....
....Yet not what I will, but what you will.
I trust that in all these things, Your will is good. I can trust You even when I don't understand. I cannot fully trust You while still holding on to things that made me question You. I have to let those things go.
You so clearly promise when I am blinded by the dark realities, You will guide me. You will guide me to the spiritual help I need. But You will also guide me to the emotional and physical help I need. Help me see Your provisions and be humble enough to receive them. You will make the rough places smooth. You will do these things and will never forsake me.
You have said, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" (Isaiah 42:16).
You say Your Word is sharper than a double-edged sword. So I cut these ties from my soul with the precise edge of Your truth.
I was abandoned. That is a fact from my past, but it is not the destiny of my future.
I was rejected. That is a fact from my past, but it is not the destiny of my future.
I was hurt. That is a fact from my past, but it is not the destiny of my future.
I was left out. That is a fact from my past, but it is not the destiny of my future.
I was brokenhearted. That is a fact from my past, but it is not the destiny of my future.
Heartbreaking seasons can certainly grow me but were never meant to define me. I let go of the hurt and embrace the growth the minute I'm able to say, 'Yet not what I will, but what You will.'"
In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray these words. Amen and amen!!
Excerpt from Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst