Writing 500 words a day almost becomes like a daily journal. What happens during the day becomes fodder for the blog. I guess I need to start somewhere, right? :)
Normally I don’t get to attend church due to my role as Children’s Ministry Director. I spend nearly every week downstairs teaching the kids, organizing volunteers, finding supplies, distributing lessons, etc. The few weeks that I am not downstairs are usually due to being out of town for a business trip. So this morning was a rare thing. Not only could I be in the sanctuary for worship, but also for the sermon. Wow. It was a lovely thing. Though I found myself wondering how it was going downstairs and missing the kids, but I made it through without sneaking downstairs to check in. I knew that I could trust the volunteers to do their thing. I mostly just wanted to see the kids.
So just after worship, my pastor got up to give a word before the offering was received. To paraphrase part of what he said….God makes it so easy for us to cry out to Him. He loves us so much and delights in hearing us call out "Abba Father". Cry out to Him today....He is waiting for you!
This hit straight into my heart tonight as I replay the words. I need my Abba Father so badly right now. I need His wisdom. I need His guidance. I need His peace. I need His will to be done in my life. I need HIM! So I cry out to Him even though I try to do it my way. I feel at war with myself. I want God’s will to be done in my life and yet too often I act before I seek Him. It drives me bonkers and yet it happened again today. I made a choice that I almost immediately began second guessing. Prior to making the choice, I did some praying about it but didn’t really wait on God to show me His desire in this situation. And now I second guess myself and plead with God for His will to be done, not mine. Even though I made this choice, I still long for His will, His best to be done.
It makes me think of the Israelites asking for a king (1 Samuel 8). Again and again they asked for a king even after Samuel tells them what it will mean for them. And I wonder sometimes if I do the same thing to God. I keep asking again and again for the same thing. Am I rejecting what God has for me in pursuit of my own pleasure, my own desires? Sometimes, if I’m honest, it kind of scares me. I really do want God’s will to be done in my life. I really do want what He has for me because I truly believe that is what is best for me. But sometimes, I get dumb and I make a choice that was me going in my own direction and not waiting on God for His plan to be fulfilled in His timing.
So I go back to my pastor’s words….Cry out to Him today….He is waiting for you! I am crying out to God and asking for Him to work His will, for me to be moved out of His way, and for His will to be accomplished in my life.