Some might say "everything happens for a reason" while feeling a sense of defeat, hopelessness and despair. Their circumstances seem out of their control, they are overwhelmed and just don't know what to do. They accept that there's a reason for their circumstances but they have no clue what it is and no hope of ever knowing.
But this weekend, when I heard someone repeat, "everything happens for a reason," I heard hope, however tentative that hope may be. I heard someone searching for answers but knowing that those answers may not come right now. But mostly I heard the voice of someone who is holding onto the hope that we have in Jesus. Even though we may never know on earth the reason for our circumstances, we can know that the One who holds all things in His hands. We know that One who deeply loves us and promises to be with us through everything we encounter.
But even though we know there's a reason for everything, it doesn't stop the questions that comes. Particularly the BIG question of "Why?" Why is this happening? Why is God allowing so much pain? Why are these hard things happening to someone so kind, so full of love? Why? Why? Why? And you know what I realize. God is REALLY BIG! Bigger than all those questions. Bigger than all of our wonderings. Bigger than all of our doubts. And He is big enough to handle our questions. He is big enough to take our anger, pain, frustrations, confusion....whatever we feel. He is a big God. And as a loving Father, He wants to hear from His children. He wants us to pour our hearts out to Him.
Lately I've been asking some questions of God. There are things I don't understand. Answers that I am seeking. My heart is so full on this night. So much joy is flowing through me even in the midst of the questions. And so I keep looking to Him. Looking to the One who knows me inside and out. Looking to the One who made me and loves me. And one verse keeps going through my mind:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6