I guess this is a season of reflecting on God's abundant grace in my life. How often I need reminding of all that He has done and the numerous ways He has blessed me. 
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Journal entry from 11/8/2009 – If I live the truth, order my life by it, even when I don’t feel it – will I eventually believe it? I’ve been raised to believe that God is good and loving, that His mercy covers, sin, that He forgives His children and loves us unconditionally. I want to believe this is true. I want to live in this truth. 
I want to see me through Jesus’ eyes. 
I want to know how He sees me. 
I want to live confidently in who He says I am, not how I feel about myself. 
If I live like I believe the things I’ve written, if I force myself to walk in those truth, will my emotions eventually line up? 
It seems hypocritical to do that – to live one way when my heart screams the opposite. 
But I don’t know how what else to do. 
I don’t feel God’s love or grace or even His presence. But I think I should live in the truth that He is there even when I don’t feel Him.
 
 
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