In honor of my friends who are having babies, I bring you the snot sucker. The website says it's "a remarkably effective tool for sucking snot out of a kid's nose." All you have to do is "put the mouthpiece in your mouth, press the open end of the snot-collection chamber against your kid's nostril (it doesn't go very far inside the nose), and SUCK."
Wow. Wait there's more...at least they are willing to admit that "it sounds disgusting and bizarre." Yeah, ya think?