Now when I talk about highs and lows, I don’t see this as a bad thing necessarily. I think it’s natural for life to kind of ebb and flow. That doesn’t mean that we can’t live each moment filled with the peace and joy of Christ….because we can….that’s the beauty of a Spirit filled life. But due to circumstances and doing life with people, there are often highs and lows throughout life.
Take today for instance. It started off well with my usual Saturday morning walk with a girlfriend. I’m getting to know this girl even better through these walks and I love that. She is a precious sister in Christ and I’m honored to spend this time with her. We chat about all sorts of topics and I learn from her. This morning we were talking about relationships and learning to be in relationship with another person. We are in different places in relationship but both still seeking to grow and learn and honor God in these relationships. And we both want His will for our lives. So she mentions that there are things she wished she’d known before she got married. Naturally I was curious so I probed further. She said that she wished she realized that the main goal of marriage is not to be happy or to make the other person happy. Happiness is a wonderful byproduct of a good marriage. But the primary purpose of marriage is to become holy. And becoming holy sometimes (often?) comes through challenging times, through pain. And it can be through those challenging times that the dross is cut away and we become more like Jesus. Later I was listening to the radio when I heard a guy from Casting Crowns talking about marriage and how it’s a fallacy to believe that marriage will fill you or complete you. He was exhorting people to realize that we must first be filled in Christ. “You complete me” is just the stuff of movies. It is God who completes us, God who fills us, not our significant other. God fills us and then we can pour into the other person. Between these two things, I was challenged to consider how I view marriage, how I view relationship. I felt that strong tugging to keep my focus on God, to keep Him as the center of all of life and especially in relationship.
Then this afternoon, I reconnected with a friend. And it was awkward and it was wonderful all at the same time. Who knew those two things could come together in one situation?! I was surprised and perhaps a little relieved at the peace that I felt. I felt amazed by the grace of God, a God of second chances. And I left that situation with great joy.
But it was strange how as the rest of my day progressed, until this moment where I find myself sitting in Panera typing this post, I found a slight sense of sadness come over me. Maybe I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye so soon. Maybe it’s just the letdown that sometimes comes after great moments. Maybe I’m just tired. Whatever the reason, I feel a little sad tonight. And that’s what got me thinking about the highs and lows of life. My mom says I think too much. Well, to be fair, numerous people in my life have said that I think too much. And it’s true. Hence the writing. It gets the thinking out and on paper or a screen and keeps the craziness out of my head.
So enough with the craziness. I’m going to read and then sleep.