Days rush by, a blur of activity. Time never stands still, it marches on regardless. Blink and a week has gone by. Close your eyese and there goes a month. Life brings joys, challenges, laughter, and tears. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow - sometimes they mingle together and flow as one stream down my cheeks.
A coworker recently commented, "only two things are certain in life - death & taxes." Well, death has come again and affected the ones I love. My great uncle Hilary had a heart attack on Friday and died. My thoughts and emotions are a jumbled mess. I want to ask why but know there are just some things we will never understand. Somehow God will be glorified in this sadness. I suppose that should bring some comfort.
I got annoyed at my uncle for dying this weekend. My parents were coming to visit me and that got messed up. They were supposed to go to Alabama for vacation. Instead my dad had to fly to Nashville to drive my grandma north for the funeral. The crazy thing is, my uncle would laugh if he knew of my annoyance. And he would probably ruffle my hair and say, "chin up girl." He was a gruff man who didn't show a lot of emotion but you knew you were loved by him. And you knew he was fiercely protective of his family. The doctor may have cautioned him about his heart but I doubt it changed much about his life. I can almost imagine him shrugging his shoulders and grunting, "gotta happen somehow. better quick & easy." I think he would be pleased by his exit from this world. He was headed outdoors for his routine walk and never came back.
Was his entrance to the next world pleasing to him? Was there joy and celebration? Was he welcomed with open arms by Jesus? Or...not? I don't know. I'm honestly not sure where my uncle stood in his relationship with Christ. But I sure hope to see him again someday.
And that gets me to thinking - am I living the Gospel so others will see Jesus? Does my life point people to Jesus? Am I shining as a light in a dark world? Am I building the Kingdom or living for me? Who am I glorifying? I want to live for Jesus. I want to bring Him glory. One choice at a time, I choose Jesus. I choose the Light, the Truth. I choose His peace, His joy. I choose to glorify You, Jesus.
I can't be with my family for the funeral today so writing out my thoughts helps me process the sadness I feel.