Thursday, October 18, 2007

In a fog...

As of 11am this morning, I am no longer employed. It's been a long, hard road and I'm sad to see the end come. I am hurt, disappointed (in myself) and longing for things to be different. It feels like I'm in a fog and I can't even see my hand in front of my face. I'm not ready to move on. It's hard not to feel like there's something wrong with this departure. I desperately wish things could be different. But this is the road I must walk. I pray that in time, God will redeem this situation and show me how I can grow from it. And my greatest prayer is that those who have been hurt by my sudden departure will forgive me.

I have enjoyed my time in PA and will miss being here. I have learned so much from my boss and the executive director. There are no hard feelings between us and I am grateful for that. There are so many things that I look back on with fond memories. I am confidant that there is much more to be learned from this situation as I look back and process it.

The future seems bleak as I have no clue what is next. The furthest that I've gotten with plans is to know that I must pack my stuff and paint my house. Beyond that, I have no idea. I'm taking things one moment at a time, praying for God to reassure me of His love. I'm resting in His arms, as a beloved child of God, waiting to see where He will take me next.

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